


To Everything I Thought I Knew

by idra



Series: 30 Days of Fic (June 2017) [20]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, M/M, Song fic (sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-19 02:26:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11303829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idra/pseuds/idra
Summary: Spencer says goodbye to Derek.





	To Everything I Thought I Knew

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Day Twenty - song (with [youtube link](http://youtube.com/watch?v=NERmgwWfnoI)) - Goodbye to You by Michelle Branch

Spencer stands on his porch, watching as Derek walks down the sidewalk. He’s leaving, going to live somewhere else with Savannah and their son. Spencer can’t feel a thing as the man he loves walks away to live a life with another person. 

After Derek is out of sight, Spencer takes a deep breath, turns and walks back to his apartment. He closes the door, sits on the couch, and stares at the wall in front of him. He’d known this day was coming from the moment Derek announced that Savannah was pregnant. He had known he would lose his lover. He’d just hoped they would have more time. 

He takes a deep breath and fights back a sudden sob, chest feeling tight as he pulls his knees up. He rests his forehead against his knees as he tries to calm his breathing. Derek’s gone and his world feels like it’s ending.

A short while later, Spencer answers the door when he hears Penelope on the other side. She wraps him up in a big hug and lets him cling to her. Eventually, they move to the couch and Penelope goes and makes him some tea. He sips at it and looks at her. “I just... I knew I would lose him. It was bound to happen eventually anyhow, but then... Then Savannah happened and I knew it would be sooner than I wanted and she got pregnant and it was bound to be over sooner. I can’t... I don’t know how to be without him.” 

“You take it one day at a time, Spence. You get up and you go to work and you do your job and when that’s done, when it’s night and you’re alone, you come to me or JJ and Will or Rossi or Tara. You come to your friends and we’ll take care of you and help you. Don’t push us away, Spence, promise me.”

Spencer nods, leaning against Penelope in a way he wouldn’t have done before he and Morgan had gotten together. “Will you stay the night? Please? I don’t want to be alone.” 

“Of course, Spence. Of course I’ll stay with you.” Garcia rubs his back. “Let’s order some pizza and junk food and I’ll have JJ get me some stuff from my place and we’ll stay in our pajamas all weekend. Hotch won’t call us in, I’ve told him we’re going to get drunk so we’ll be of no use to anyone. We won’t get drunk but Hotch doesn’t need to know.”

Spencer chuckles and nods. “I like the sound of that. Maybe JJ would run to the store and get us some junk food too.”

“Do you want JJ to stay with us tonight too?” 

“No. She has to stay with the kids.” Spencer sighs and leans against Garcia. “Maybe she could stay for a little while?” 

“I’ll ask her.” Garcia smiles and pats his hand as she ducks into his bedroom to make the phone call to JJ.

Spencer watches her go, then takes a sip of his tea, rubbing a hand over his face. He’ll be okay. He silently says goodbye to Derek and their relationship and picks up a throw pillow, hugging it to his chest.


End file.
